Recently, Arc of Hope, an (excellent) child abuse recovery and support network on Twitter added me to a list titled “Abused Kids/ Child Abuse Victim Army.” Seeing myself associated with being a victim of child abuse sent a shock through my body. It might sound weird, but it felt like a new revelation. Now, oneContinue reading “Validation”

Scapegoat Upside: It Probably Saved My Life

  I was the scapegoat in my family, and my older brother was the golden child. According to my abusive parents, he could do no wrong, and I could do no right. We were often pitted against each other, as narcissists tend to do with their children. My brother beat me up daily after school,Continue reading “Scapegoat Upside: It Probably Saved My Life”

What Every American Needs to Know About Narcissistic Abuse Right Now

There is a narcissist in the White House, and we are all in grave danger. From Dr. John Gardner’s Duty to Warn to several Ivy League psychiatry professors’ recent call to remove him from office, mental health professionals are speaking out. But is it too late? As someone who was raised by abusive, narcissistic parents,Continue reading “What Every American Needs to Know About Narcissistic Abuse Right Now”

No, They Weren’t Doing Their Best

One of the most overused platitudes I hear in response to toxic parents is that they must have meant well, or they were only doing the best they could. This is a terrible thing to say to a survivor of child abuse. It’s false and damaging to the victim, because it implies a false projectionContinue reading “No, They Weren’t Doing Their Best”

Scapegoat and Golden Child: A Melodrama

Act I One could do no right; One could do no wrong. Mom assigned the roles; Dad agreed on parts. They both knew their lines; Angel and Demon. Triangled siblings; equidistant truth. Act II Angel goes on stage; plays to the rapt house. Flowers, cheers, and praise; ‘Bravo! Well done, child.’ Demon goes on next;Continue reading “Scapegoat and Golden Child: A Melodrama”