Here lies an uncomfortable truth. Narcissists win. They seemingly win all the time, at almost everything. Many of them are highly successful people, at least when it comes to achieving material things, and, in fact, all of their nefarious narcissistic traits seem to help them more than hurt. Of course, when they win, they lookContinue reading “When the Narcissist Wins”
Tag Archives: Personality Disorders
No, You Are Not ‘Too’ Sensitive
It is common for the victims of narcissistic abuse to be kind, caring, compassionate people. They are often so tuned in to the needs of others and so good at listening and understanding that they become unwitting targets for toxic people. They are too often labeled as being “too” sensitive, when they feel hurt byContinue reading “No, You Are Not ‘Too’ Sensitive”
Ten Tools for Trauma Survivors
A couple years ago, I hit a serious wall. I was emotionally and physically exhausted, but didn’t understand why. Sure, I was a mom, wife, graduate student, and ran a business, but this exhaustion went much deeper than my chronic state of busyness, hyper-vigilance, and hyper-focus. Sure, I knew I had a rough childhood andContinue reading “Ten Tools for Trauma Survivors”
Narcissists Are Not Nearly As Interesting As Their Survivors
Narcissistic abuse is a strange phenomenon to experience. Because of the very nature of the abuse, victims get sucked in gradually and often have a hard time putting their finger on what’s going on. Many experience “waking up” to the realization that their parent, boss, or partner is a narcissist. Initially it can feel likeContinue reading “Narcissists Are Not Nearly As Interesting As Their Survivors”
Tearing People Down is not ‘Real World’ Training
I mentor a group of young adults, and was recently handling a situation where another mentor systematically tore down much of the esteem I had spent several weeks helping them build up. Her reasoning for doing this was to “toughen them up” and get them ready for “the real world.” When asked her why sheContinue reading “Tearing People Down is not ‘Real World’ Training”
Why You Can’t Be in a Narcissistic Relationship ‘Just A Little Bit’
Ending a relationship of any kind can be tough, but when someone tries to disentangle themselves from a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath, the experience is a special kind of hell. From the beginning, partners are groomed to cater to the needs of the narc while denying all of their own. It’s an insidious processContinue reading “Why You Can’t Be in a Narcissistic Relationship ‘Just A Little Bit’”
The Truth Can Hurt- But It’s Never Cruel
Nothing is ever good enough for a narcissist. They seek to tear down and destroy any good thing they can’t claim for their own spotlight. Chances are, if you’ve ever confronted a narcissist about their cruel words, you’ve heard them deflect, “I was just telling the truth!” This is the lie of the narcissist: toContinue reading “The Truth Can Hurt- But It’s Never Cruel”
Abuse is not an Illness, It’s a Choice
One of the biggest mistakes I see victims of narcissistic abuse make is to feel sorry for their abusers because their abuser is “mentally ill.” This is wrong. Narcissism is not the same as mental illness. While someone with a mental illness might inadvertently cause chaos around them due to their mental state, most ofContinue reading “Abuse is not an Illness, It’s a Choice”
Point of View Ping-Pong
I have always been a perceptive person, able to see any situation from the point of view of others. Growing up, I never understood how I could see my parent’s point of view, but they could never see mine. And the (not so) funny thing is, their point of view was always skewed in theirContinue reading “Point of View Ping-Pong”
How To Gray Rock A Narcissist
As a child of narcissistic parents, one of my proudest life accomplishments is over ten years of no contact with them. But let me qualify that. It also took over ten years of no contact to feel proud. For the bulk of my life, I carried all the guilt and shame about their bad behavior.Continue reading “How To Gray Rock A Narcissist”
