Telling the Truth

As a person was was manipulated, gaslighted, and lied to for all of her childhood, truth-telling matters deeply to me. Even though I was often punished for it, it became extremely important for me to always tell the truth. I realized at a young age that truth and my own integrity were all I had,Continue reading “Telling the Truth”

Bracing for the Second Wound

I imagine most of my posts this week will be about processing the almost-crash we experienced, here. I’ve been doing my best to manage things as they come up, and I am realizing just how much extra time and space I need to allow myself right now. The tension, exhaustion, and nightmares are back. IContinue reading “Bracing for the Second Wound”

The Mysterious "They"

My mother was obsessed with them, but I never figured out who they were. For a while, I thought maybe they were the neighbors, but that didn’t make sense. Other than waving hello as we passed by, we weren’t really friends with our neighbors. We didn’t know each other any more than what was saidContinue reading “The Mysterious "They"”

What Every American Needs to Know About Narcissistic Abuse Right Now

There is a narcissist in the White House, and we are all in grave danger. From Dr. John Gardner’s Duty to Warn to several Ivy League psychiatry professors’ recent call to remove him from office, mental health professionals are speaking out. But is it too late? As someone who was raised by abusive, narcissistic parents,Continue reading “What Every American Needs to Know About Narcissistic Abuse Right Now”

The Silent Complicit

They see themselves as good people. Conflict makes them uncomfortable. They don’t want to get involved. They fear losing friends and family. They wish everyone would just get along. They are the silent complicit, and they are as toxic as the overt abusers they enable. In many ways, they are worse. They claim to beContinue reading “The Silent Complicit”

Minimization

“It wasn’t that bad.” “What happened to me is nothing compared to what you’re going through.” “Well, at least… {insert positive thought here}” “Others have had it so much worse.” “It was a long time ago.” “Well, there’s nothing I can do about it now.” Our brains and bodies are experts at self-protection, and minimizationContinue reading “Minimization”

Troll for a Day

You know what really pisses me off? Trolls. Trolls are abusers who hide behind computer screens and tear people down. They lurk in the comments sections, ready to pounce, waiting for someone to point out their fallacies so they can attack. Ugh, I hate bullies. I really hate them. And I really hate watching themContinue reading “Troll for a Day”

No, There Are Not Two Sides

I was in a meeting where a mediator was trying her best to stay impartial to a situation where a large volume of well-documented verbal and emotional abuse had occurred. She was a trained professional, but professionally speaking, she didn’t want to be in a position to take sides on the issue. She offered theContinue reading “No, There Are Not Two Sides”

Word Salad

  Once you see the signs of abuse, it’s almost impossible to unsee them. I was recently party to a conversation between an abuser and someone confronting her intentionally vindictive behavior. The abuser simultaneously denied any wrongdoing, while also claiming she “forgot,” because, you know, she’s so busy and important, and also threw in aContinue reading “Word Salad”

Gaslighting

Lots of people are legitimately confused right now. We live in a world where the people warning us about “fake news” are the ones fabricating the lies. “Alternative facts” are spun daily to reinforce these lies. And while there are plenty of smart, fair, balanced reporters pointing this out, the narrative has been spun soContinue reading “Gaslighting”