I love my abusers. I feel compassion for them. I can rise out of my own hurt feelings to see their humanity. I understand the challenges that shaped them, and I grieve the abuses that happened to them. However, none of this means I ought to be in a relationship with them. Loving them doesContinue reading “Why No Contact is Essential if You Love Your Abuser”
Tag Archives: empaths
No, You Are Not ‘Too’ Sensitive
It is common for the victims of narcissistic abuse to be kind, caring, compassionate people. They are often so tuned in to the needs of others and so good at listening and understanding that they become unwitting targets for toxic people. They are too often labeled as being “too” sensitive, when they feel hurt byContinue reading “No, You Are Not ‘Too’ Sensitive”
Narcissists Are Not Nearly As Interesting As Their Survivors
Narcissistic abuse is a strange phenomenon to experience. Because of the very nature of the abuse, victims get sucked in gradually and often have a hard time putting their finger on what’s going on. Many experience “waking up” to the realization that their parent, boss, or partner is a narcissist. Initially it can feel likeContinue reading “Narcissists Are Not Nearly As Interesting As Their Survivors”
To Be Seen
I spent much of my childhood invisible. It was easier that way, as the alternative was to be blamed and punished for imagined faults and shortcomings projected on to me by my narcissistic parents. As an invisible person, I created other universes in my imagination which were not quite as sad and lonely as theContinue reading “To Be Seen”
Like Nails on a Chalkboard
I am a highly sensitive person, and I often find myself in the position of understanding people better than they understand themselves. I often physically feel what others are feeling, and I can sense whether their thoughts are clear or whether there is a jumble of static in their brain. People who are not empathsContinue reading “Like Nails on a Chalkboard”
Scapegoat Upside: It Probably Saved My Life
I was the scapegoat in my family, and my older brother was the golden child. According to my abusive parents, he could do no wrong, and I could do no right. We were often pitted against each other, as narcissists tend to do with their children. My brother beat me up daily after school,Continue reading “Scapegoat Upside: It Probably Saved My Life”
Codependent or Empath?
There are a number of resources and articles for survivors of narcissistic abuse, and taken in all together, are extremely helpful in better understanding the abuser and our own role in the abuse. There is a certain type of person narcissists, psychopaths, and Cluster B abusers tend to seek out. Terms like “codependent” and “empath”Continue reading “Codependent or Empath?”
That Familiar Pain
After many years of carrying the emotional burden of narcissistic abuse, it’s no wonder I am often debilitated with frequent neck and shoulder aches and migraines. I know where they come from. I know why I get them. I’ve lived with them most of my life. My vision blurs. Sometimes, like right now, every soundContinue reading “That Familiar Pain”
Tell Me About Your Background…
So, I’ve had a rough week. It started with a near miss accident, which I wrote about, here. As a result, all my symptoms of C-PTSD flared up, which I wrote about, here. So, understandably, I was already feeling tender when later this week, I started a new job. I work in an extremely competitiveContinue reading “Tell Me About Your Background…”
Bracing for the Second Wound
I imagine most of my posts this week will be about processing the almost-crash we experienced, here. I’ve been doing my best to manage things as they come up, and I am realizing just how much extra time and space I need to allow myself right now. The tension, exhaustion, and nightmares are back. IContinue reading “Bracing for the Second Wound”
