Abuse survivors are usually wary of new relationships for extremely good reasons that are not their fault. Almost always, the cycle of abuse starts out as something that appears wonderful. The new guy or gal is interested in them. Not only interested, but infatuated. They too-quickly claim they are “the one.” They study their target,Continue reading “Love Bombing And Other WMDs”
Tag Archives: boundaries
Narcissists Are Not Nearly As Interesting As Their Survivors
Narcissistic abuse is a strange phenomenon to experience. Because of the very nature of the abuse, victims get sucked in gradually and often have a hard time putting their finger on what’s going on. Many experience “waking up” to the realization that their parent, boss, or partner is a narcissist. Initially it can feel likeContinue reading “Narcissists Are Not Nearly As Interesting As Their Survivors”
Why You Can’t Be in a Narcissistic Relationship ‘Just A Little Bit’
Ending a relationship of any kind can be tough, but when someone tries to disentangle themselves from a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath, the experience is a special kind of hell. From the beginning, partners are groomed to cater to the needs of the narc while denying all of their own. It’s an insidious processContinue reading “Why You Can’t Be in a Narcissistic Relationship ‘Just A Little Bit’”
Hoovering Sucks
I went no contact with my abusive parents many years ago, but my mother, a covert narcissist, still continues to hoover me in. Hoovering is a strategy characteristic of Cluster B disordered people wherein, like a vacuum cleaner, they try to suck people back in to their manufactured drama. It is yet another form ofContinue reading “Hoovering Sucks”
How To Gray Rock A Narcissist
As a child of narcissistic parents, one of my proudest life accomplishments is over ten years of no contact with them. But let me qualify that. It also took over ten years of no contact to feel proud. For the bulk of my life, I carried all the guilt and shame about their bad behavior.Continue reading “How To Gray Rock A Narcissist”
Lifting the Burden
From a very young age, I learned how to take care of myself, physically and emotionally. I had to, because no one else was going to do it. I have early infant-toddler memories of being raged at if I cried for any reason, but the reason usually being that I was left alone for hours,Continue reading “Lifting the Burden”
Boundaries
Wouldn’t it be nice if we all lived in harmony? Wouldn’t it be great if everyone respected one another as human beings? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every interaction with others stirred up feelings of warmth and connectedness instead of fear and dread? But alas, some people suck. I used to think it was myContinue reading “Boundaries”
