It’s OK to Not Be OK

  I wear a lot of hats, as most women do. Most of my life has been spent being too busy to deal with a lot of the things that now lie naked on the examination table. But right now, I am being intentional about making the time to look at the true impact ofContinue reading “It’s OK to Not Be OK”

Just One Person

Because I was a good girl, I helped my parents cover their tracks. They were covert. They knew what to do and to say to look like normal people in front of others. I mostly played along with the image they projected out to the public, not because I agreed with it, but because itContinue reading “Just One Person”

Letting Go of Toxic People

  Because I had been raised by abusers, I used to think that I could handle difficult people. I see the traps long before most people do, and I thought seeing them meant I could manage to avoid them. But I learned in the hardest way possible that I am not immune to abusive peopleContinue reading “Letting Go of Toxic People”


Since making my abuse known to the public, I have received a wide range of responses, from dead silence from close friends to private and public encouragement from acquaintances and unknown fellow survivors. I expected the range, and I was curious to see who would choose to step up and who would choose to slinkContinue reading “Non-Supporters”

When is it Abuse?

We have all, at times, completely lost our mellow in the face of conflict. We’ve all said things we shouldn’t have said, or done things we shouldn’t have done. We’ve all hurt the ones we love. It’s human. So what’s the difference between that and abuse? There are a lot of ways to classify abuse.Continue reading “When is it Abuse?”

The ACE Study

A while back, I heard a bit on NPR about the ACE study, which can be found on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention site, here.  ACE stands for Adverse Child Experiences, and it studies the long term physical impact of early childhood traumas. The findings link between childhood trauma and adult chronic diseases,Continue reading “The ACE Study”

It’s a (not so) Wonderful Life

I love inspiring movies, I really do. Give me a (deserved) happy ending any day. I believe in the power of storytelling to transform hearts and minds, and point people toward what’s good, beautiful, and true. But a satisfying ending in a story is what Aristotle would call “better than the real.” Stories can offerContinue reading “It’s a (not so) Wonderful Life”

A Proud Victim

It’s time to reclaim the word “victim.” It’s time to reclaim it because we are told it’s something we shouldn’t be. Victims make people nervous, as if we had leprosy or see-through leggings. People don’t like victims, and they are quick to point that out to anyone who suggests they might be one. Victims areContinue reading “A Proud Victim”