Many years ago, when I was still in contact with my abusive family and seeking help from several mental health professionals, one psychologist in particular lit up with recognition when I described the situation. A family member had been previously diagnosed by another psychologist with “delusions of grandeur,” and even though the other family memberContinue reading “What ‘Drinking the Kool-Aid’ Really Means, And How To Avoid It”
Category Archives: Narcissism
Hey, HR: If You Want a Productive Workplace, Maybe Stop Advertising for Psychopaths?
Dear Human Resources Department, Your work culture is toxic. How do I know? Almost inevitably, your advertised job opening goes something like this: “Fast-paced company seeks flexible, self-starting multitasker with strong attention to detail who thrives in a chaotic environment.” Let me stop you right there, HR person, because what you advertise is not aContinue reading “Hey, HR: If You Want a Productive Workplace, Maybe Stop Advertising for Psychopaths?”
What I Want To Say to the Person Who Just Escaped My Abuser
I recently learned that someone left one of my abusers. As much as I would love to take her to coffee and have a long, heartfelt conversation, it is neither wise or safe for me to make contact. I’ve had zero contact with my abuser for many years, and I never met the person whoContinue reading “What I Want To Say to the Person Who Just Escaped My Abuser”
When Your Own Narrative is a Life or Death Issue
We all know how it feels when someone gossips about us. We’ve all been on the receiving end of sensitive information about someone else that’s none of our business. We’ve all said something out of turn about another person. The sting of betrayal is hurtful and annoying, but for many, it’s not a huge deal.Continue reading “When Your Own Narrative is a Life or Death Issue”
When the Narcissist Wins
Here lies an uncomfortable truth. Narcissists win. They seemingly win all the time, at almost everything. Many of them are highly successful people, at least when it comes to achieving material things, and, in fact, all of their nefarious narcissistic traits seem to help them more than hurt. Of course, when they win, they lookContinue reading “When the Narcissist Wins”
You Will Not Get Closure, But You Can Find Understanding
One of the most difficult aspects of leaving a narcissist is that there is no closure. Few people really understand what it’s like to survive a psychological abuser. Not only will the narcissist ever understand your point of view, he or she will never attempt to try. In addition to spending the entire relationship feelingContinue reading “You Will Not Get Closure, But You Can Find Understanding”
No, You Are Not ‘Too’ Sensitive
It is common for the victims of narcissistic abuse to be kind, caring, compassionate people. They are often so tuned in to the needs of others and so good at listening and understanding that they become unwitting targets for toxic people. They are too often labeled as being “too” sensitive, when they feel hurt byContinue reading “No, You Are Not ‘Too’ Sensitive”
Ten Tools for Trauma Survivors
A couple years ago, I hit a serious wall. I was emotionally and physically exhausted, but didn’t understand why. Sure, I was a mom, wife, graduate student, and ran a business, but this exhaustion went much deeper than my chronic state of busyness, hyper-vigilance, and hyper-focus. Sure, I knew I had a rough childhood andContinue reading “Ten Tools for Trauma Survivors”
Love Bombing And Other WMDs
Abuse survivors are usually wary of new relationships for extremely good reasons that are not their fault. Almost always, the cycle of abuse starts out as something that appears wonderful. The new guy or gal is interested in them. Not only interested, but infatuated. They too-quickly claim they are “the one.” They study their target,Continue reading “Love Bombing And Other WMDs”
The Difference Between a ‘Normal’ Parent and a Narcissistic Parent
Those who have survived abusive childhoods at some time or another have run into someone (or many people) making banal excuses to explain away their experience. “Parents aren’t perfect.” “They were doing their best.” “Just wait until you’re a mom or dad.” While it’s true that no one is perfect and most people don’t intendContinue reading “The Difference Between a ‘Normal’ Parent and a Narcissistic Parent”
